The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
