God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Found the puke drawer
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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