is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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