so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
