...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
