yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
