hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize