Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
