Kiss
Puke
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
