...so i touched it.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
