lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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