Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
