He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
