That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
