A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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