i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
