Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
