shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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