no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
