If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize