We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
