Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
3pm strippers are depressing
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
