You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Is that strawberry winking at me??
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
