You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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