Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
