I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
