Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
