Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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