working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
