a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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