Moan for me like Helen Keller
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
pop tarts are not kleenex
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
