dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
