I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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