You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
