Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
