im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize