apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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