so explain again why im purple
no
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
