Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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