Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
