My first STD was from a foam party
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize