So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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