Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
