I need help removing her.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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