Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
