Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize