I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Randomize
