chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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