Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
is wine microwaveable?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
