I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
