Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
