idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
