ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
