Just cropdusted the office
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
