so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
