thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
