Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
