and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
