Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
