Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
