Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
