Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Boobs speak an international language.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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