Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize