I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
home. puking in laundry basket.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Sacagawea was the original milf.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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