The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
