We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
