Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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