I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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