I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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