And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
