please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
