i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
